Sunday, December 5, 2010

"loser" by beck


do you remember high school?

i do. i don't miss it. everything was just so dramatic. friendships. relationships. driving. school. homework. dinner. dating. did i mention friendships?

i remember feeling as insignificant as a thread in a blanket. a needle in a haystack. maybe it was just perception. maybe as awkward and distant as i felt from the people around me, was just as close to being part of the "in" crowd. i hated the in crowd as much as i wanted to be part of them. it was so easy to love and hate back then. complications come with age. for me complications come in abundance.

and its so easy to return to the point where thats how you feel. too easy if any. a nickname. an old CD. a lost love letter. a lost love...

but this year, i want things to be different. i want to be a better person and not fall so easily back into my ways. maybe be less selfish but i can't make any promises.

i will try is all. and maybe that's all i will ever have. but here it is...i will try.


i hope its enough.

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