"christmas time is here" by alvin and the chipmunks

 

it has been a very long year. full of regret and sadness but happy times too. all we can do is pray for forgiveness and hope that it is returned.

i can only hope for good things this coming year. only hope.

have faith, mai. have faith.

merry christmas, everyone.

"loser" by beck

do you remember high school?

i do. i don't miss it. everything was just so dramatic. friendships. relationships. driving. school. homework. dinner. dating. did i mention friendships?

i remember feeling as insignificant as a thread in a blanket. a needle in a haystack. maybe it was just perception. maybe as awkward and distant as i felt from the people around me, was just as close to being part of the "in" crowd. i hated the in crowd as much as i wanted to be part of them. it was so easy to love and hate back then. complications come with age. for me complications come in abundance.

and its so easy to return to the point where thats how you feel. too easy if any. a nickname. an old CD. a lost love letter. a lost love...

but this year, i want things to be different. i want to be a better person and not fall so easily back into my ways. maybe be less selfish but i can't make any promises.

i will try is all. and maybe that's all i will ever have. but here it is...i will try.


i hope its enough.

"my immortal" by evanescence

i think the reason vampires are so attractive is that they are the epitomy of romantic. they all seem to have this undying sense of eternal love...of forever...that seems completely negated by our new concept of things like divorce, promiscuity, emails instead hand written letters...

the kind that has been lost for centuries. the kind of old school behavior that is now considered ancient, and that loss has become romanticized in vampires.

the thought of living through previous lives and knowing first hand how to lose someone you love...how they are the reason for your existence...of wanting something so much...of being something to want to die for...to the simple thought of the properness of their being. victorian style dresses and pale skin...

vampires always seem so seductive and always seem to speak properly...

i think we as a generation lack the chivalry that generations in the past have...holding the doors for women, giving up their seat for the elderly, opening the car door, paying for the bill, kissing the girls hand, ballroom dancing, masquerade balls, calligraphy...

sexist or not, i find it romantic.

i know vampires don't exist, but i wish romance did.

"somebody to love" by leighton meester

our very on blair waldorff in the making. hehe.

fancy restaurant. fancy girl. fondue me and all.

happy birthday, birthday girl.

"friday i'm in love" by the cure

ok, so it's not friday. but its definitely tuesday and grey. there's a lot of decisions to be made.

i think by friday i'll be in love with my decision. hehe.

wish me luck.


i love the cure...hehe cure get it?

"lucky" by jason mraz

so cute. minh and kathy are so cute! she looked wonderful and it was fun just hanging out. the remi helped. its something kind of wonderful.

its so funny how connected we are. its kind of scary too. be careful, you just might be dating a long lost cousin - not in my case though. whew!

so many memories to share and so many faces from the past. it'll be time to settle down soon. there there robot. try type B. i'll program it so.

"like a G6" by far east movement

so what you may ask have i been doing with all my free time? birthdays of course! happy birthday everyone!

another saturday. another birthday. lipstick and blush on half a face. midnight pizza, hotdogs, ramen & clams. tbags. music video reenactments. knives on the counter. cheesecake "heating up" in the truck. cutting the line. runway ei8ht. long car rides and happy days...old friends, new friends and good times.

who needs cake when you can have birthday cookies?

 imagine another person on the right, that would be kimmi. thanks, brad.

"don't stop believin'" by journey

a day for the books.


today, was a good day. i spent a lot of time in my life worrying about what the past. today it all became worth it. not that other gestures weren't worth it. but today i passed my test. my last test for 7 years. its a one of those moments that take your breath away and you realize that happiness is possible.

i'm so happy. it's just craziness.

a day for the books.

little smiles everywhere!

"all you need is love" by the beatles

ive always wanted to be a gymnast. even with practice, i could not do a round-off. maybe if i could do a round-off my career path would have been different. maybe.

i applaud gymnasts. their diligence and perseverance to something so amazing. i admire their drive and dedication. sometimes people think that making a difference in the world requires degrees or special training, talent or intelligence...


really all it takes is a little love...love for someone. love for anything.

all you need is love.

"i am" by nicole nordeman

i dont understand.

sometimes things dont seem fair, and i know that i shouldnt question the will of God...i just wish sometimes i could understand.

its funny how the world around you continues to move regardless of how slow your life becomes. how narcissistic to think that how i feel could be so important. but it does to at least one person, me.

sometimes my life moves in slow motion. i know it seems impossible but i assure you it happens. and its these exact moments that you wish would pass faster. it prolongs the feelings of helplessness and pain. of loss and of sorrow. of fear and of anxiety.

of loss.

im so sorry.

"perfect world" by ace of base

no matter how much training i have, i believe more in the power of PRAYER. if you can, pray for her. not only her survival but her recovery. and pray for her husband, 3 girls and family.

its hard for me to understand the will of God, but i do not doubt he hears our prayers...

"canned heat" by jamiroquai

its funny how the small things are what seem to matter.

this is who i am.

i guess things don't change. or maybe its just me.

like old times. happy birthday, old friend.

"california gurls" by katy perry

this is how you live like a rock star.

naked tuesdays.
lost earrings.
bruises.
a slice of paradise.
weekday clubbing.
craig robinson.
up after noon.
being on a studio set.
jerry springer telling us he loves us.
sacred heart.
red lipstick.
double takes.
asleep after 4am.
flashing hunting beach.
getting my dress ripped off me.
photo shoots on the beach.
good food.
good times.

for your looking pleasure...

"california love" by 2Pac

when it rains, it pours doesn't it?

a lot has happened this past week. and more times than not its is hard to see the silver lining. i'm working on it :-/

sometimes its hard to enjoy all my travels and good times when there's so much going on but i am grateful for the time that i have to share with my friends and family that i get to see so rarely.

still have a long list of things to do, but so far, been pretty successful in trying to just relax. i have the occasional freak outs but c'mon and i can't stop just being me ;)

so waiting on the rest of the h-town crew to get here...but hopefully will visit with my old friends again, from houston-austin, living in LA. crazy.

tomorrow maybe shopping in orange county. maybe hiking to hollywood sign. maybe segway tour. maybe ghetti. maybe the north hollywood medical center (set of the scrubs set). maybe the BEACH! so many things to do...so little time!

my favorite part of this trip so far...sharing in the moments in my long-distance friends lives...

"dream on" by aerosmith

it is finished...



now it's time to catch up on all the things i've neglected. uh-oh...


this is me trying to be Type B. haha. fail.

"the heart of the matter" by don henley

its funny how pride can be so crippling. how it keeps us from being all that what we should be...


and even though its cliche, its true: "why can't we all just get along?"

to know who we are, part of it comes from knowing yourself and the rest from where you come from, family. we all have our many faults. none of us are perfect.


i feel like with every decision i make, there comes a consequence, expected and hopefully forgiven. thats the innocence and naivety that i can only hope is shared.

its such an awesome word, forgiveness. if you can find it in your heart, please share.

"1, 2, 3, 4" by Plain White T's

i miss austin. don't get me wrong, i love being close to my family...even if they drive me nuts. but there is this independence and autonomy associated with Austin.

it was always a time when i found freedom and happiness.

it was an escape. i miss the comfort of its city limits. (and 2 hour drive)

i wonder if hawaii will feel that way.

i remember dominica feeling empty. and at that time, that was what i needed. maybe im too full now and need to be knocked down a peg or too.

we'll see i guess.


only a few more days for my test. i hope for the best.



i need a job. i need security. man being type B is hard. no lists. being relaxed and easy-going is hard. maybe if i work at it ;)


"its easy as 1..2..1..2..3..4..."

"begin again" by colbie caillat

a new start people.


im ready to share.


full circle right? started on an island and ending on an island.


still waiting for that green light.



well this is where ill share my life. a different time. a different place. but still me. full of depressing sappy and silly posts. usually in that order. forgive the randomness...


i have 7 days to pass my boards.



next trip. cali.

then hawaii.



wish me luck...ill definitely need it.


im ready to begin again.